he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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