I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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