I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
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I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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