yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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