:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
