i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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