Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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