and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
