if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
