yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
