The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
