"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
