Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
