don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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