YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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