your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
that may or may not have been my penis.
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