May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
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