About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize