Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(

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  (502): So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-( http://tfl.nu/sog4
  Replies (26) Good night (1333) Bad night (4746)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.

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  (203): i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool. http://tfl.nu/2evd
  Replies (21) Good night (1122) Bad night (7467)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery

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  (509): after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery http://tfl.nu/ntn4
  Replies (9) Good night (3320) Bad night (1874)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.

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  (708): I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie. http://tfl.nu/rjzr
  Replies (6) Good night (4611) Bad night (979)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.

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  (902): the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved. http://tfl.nu/ruqq
  Replies (7) Good night (3690) Bad night (1054)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role

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  (219): Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role http://tfl.nu/5zob
  Replies (14) Good night (1030) Bad night (4131)
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  (415): View more from California

  Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in

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  (415): Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in http://tfl.nu/whuh
  Replies (14) Good night (4666) Bad night (2284)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.

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  (248): This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once. http://tfl.nu/vt1p
  Replies (7) Good night (1203) Bad night (2573)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster

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  (971): Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster http://tfl.nu/bpg2
  Replies (2) Good night (923) Bad night (1310)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship

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  (204): I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot (1-204): I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship http://tfl.nu/q28b
  Replies (2) Good night (1497) Bad night (723)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises

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  (843): I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises http://tfl.nu/gq7h
  Replies (3) Good night (987) Bad night (549)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water

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  (202): I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water http://tfl.nu/zr61
  Replies (6) Good night (1011) Bad night (437)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.

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  (515): I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head. http://tfl.nu/kz5k
  Replies (10) Good night (1370) Bad night (443)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.

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  (703): I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING. http://tfl.nu/0loh
  Replies (3) Good night (1130) Bad night (607)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household

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  (425): Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household http://tfl.nu/3bng
  Replies (5) Good night (1039) Bad night (405)

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