Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
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you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
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and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet