Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.

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  (206): I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers. http://tfl.nu/k6c6
  Replies (26) Good night (6251) Bad night (668)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever

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  (850): By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever http://tfl.nu/n0rq
  Replies (56) Good night (12592) Bad night (1141)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away

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  (404): hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away http://tfl.nu/s83j
  Replies (6) Good night (3910) Bad night (969)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.

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  (915): and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house. http://tfl.nu/ztys
  Replies (7) Good night (3577) Bad night (1251)
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  (559): View more from California

  Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.

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  (559): Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND. http://tfl.nu/ouew
  Replies (9) Good night (2396) Bad night (1133)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.

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  (513): it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out. http://tfl.nu/ydh3
  Replies (6) Good night (2649) Bad night (979)
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  (442): View more from California

  While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.

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  (442): While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage. http://tfl.nu/yi73
  Replies (74) Good night (1443) Bad night (5433)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????

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  (207): Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport???? http://tfl.nu/yffg
  Replies (11) Good night (917) Bad night (3355)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.

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  (910): I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers. http://tfl.nu/lhcq
  Replies (7) Good night (1776) Bad night (1833)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order

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  (604): In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order http://tfl.nu/d2l0
  Replies (1) Good night (1240) Bad night (550)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex

  (206): View more from Washington

  Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy

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  (253): Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex (206): Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy http://tfl.nu/0aky
  Replies (16) Good night (2668) Bad night (943)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories

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  (802): I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories http://tfl.nu/5xj5
  Replies (3) Good night (1968) Bad night (930)
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  (916): View more from California

  They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk

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  (916): They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk http://tfl.nu/jqnb
  Replies (3) Good night (449) Bad night (1416)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.

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  (541): Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity. http://tfl.nu/lznq
  Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (572)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.

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  (970): Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background. http://tfl.nu/hf4r
  Replies (1) Good night (269) Bad night (481)

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