I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.