Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.

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  (918): Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted. (918): And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail. http://tfl.nu/06cg
  Replies (4) Good night (530) Bad night (1577)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"

  (1-386): View more from Florida

  You're going home with him aren't you?

  (386): View more from Florida

  I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house

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  (386): Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!" (1-386): You're going home with him aren't you? (386): I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house http://tfl.nu/c9az
  Replies (12) Good night (1220) Bad night (2848)
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  (315): View more from New York

  You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.

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  (315): You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you. http://tfl.nu/rrga
  Replies (16) Good night (6289) Bad night (562)
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  (+47): View more from Norway

  I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian

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  (+47): I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian http://tfl.nu/2tom
  Replies (21) Good night (5135) Bad night (992)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.

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  (312): If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab. http://tfl.nu/3osp
  Replies (7) Good night (3886) Bad night (1205)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.

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  (563): I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay. http://tfl.nu/8krm
  Replies (3) Good night (818) Bad night (2743)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.

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  (859): we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off. http://tfl.nu/uye4
  Replies (5) Good night (2180) Bad night (841)
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  (408): View more from California

  The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.

  (408): View more from California

  You've ruined television for me.

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  (408): The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it. (408): You've ruined television for me. http://tfl.nu/32ek
  Replies (4) Good night (2509) Bad night (852)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk

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  (239): We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk http://tfl.nu/ub56
  Replies (3) Good night (1860) Bad night (673)
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  (518): View more from New York

  We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical 

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  (518): We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical  http://tfl.nu/e1go
  Replies (8) Good night (1451) Bad night (476)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess

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  (908): I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess http://tfl.nu/xjsr
  Replies (3) Good night (2215) Bad night (494)
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  (516): View more from New York

  On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.

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  (516): On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER. http://tfl.nu/qydu
  Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (278)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I am not being the messenger for your booty call.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.

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  (519): I am not being the messenger for your booty call. (250): I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one. http://tfl.nu/rzt1
  Replies (1) Good night (737) Bad night (217)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?

  (1+44): View more from

  Which pub are you in?

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  (+44): Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon? (1+44): Which pub are you in? http://tfl.nu/p4a0
  Replies (6) Good night (747) Bad night (234)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.

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  (215): Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it. http://tfl.nu/dtmi
  Replies (4) Good night (268) Bad night (533)

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