It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
