i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
