Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
