My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
