Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
