If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We need to rekindle our bromance
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
