Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
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Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
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Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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