Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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