Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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