$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
