Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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