She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
