I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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