the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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