you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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