Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
