I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize