Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
