Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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