If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
