Did you just see the Batmobile???
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
