real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
