i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
There are leaves in my underwear?
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