I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize