this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
