I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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