THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
