Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize