so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
