Just cropdusted the office
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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