your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
