your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
