Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
