Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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