whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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