In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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