doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
