Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
