What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
