My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
