i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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