So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
There are leaves in my underwear?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
