are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
