I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
